iFind Sams Diary
by xGoldxRosex
Summary: Samantha Puckett is the last girl you would expect to keep a diary, right? Well there's a lot you don't know about her, and there was a lot Freddie didn't know until he takes a sneak look inside it... SEDDIE!
1. iFind Sam's Diary

Emma; Hey it's me here again! (: Got the most amazing idea for a eddie Fic that I hope you will all enjoy...well unless you ship Creddie... ENJOY! :D

_Disclaimer; Has Seddie happened yet? No. So I do not own it_.

**Third Person POV**

It was just another normal day in Seattle. The sun was high up in the sky and beaming down on Bushwell plaza. It was about four in the afternoon and Carly, Freddie and Sam were casually hanging about in the studio coming up with new ideas for iCarly.

"For the last time Sam, we are not going to any segments that will damage Freddie!" Carly stressed, she didn't understand why Sam hated Freddie so much.

"Fine!" Sam groaned as she fell backwards and slumped right into the purple bean bag. Freddie just stood behind his computer making a few adjustments to the site as he ignored the insults Sam was throwing at him. It wasn't that he didn't care, it was just because he was so used to Sam's torture that he had completely given up when it came to getting back at her.

After thirty more minutes of discussing the new iCarly a sudden sound erupted from Sam's pocket, which turned out to be a text from her mom.

_Come home now! I told you to tidy your room this morning and it still looks a state._

Yep, that was Sam's mom. Ever since Carly forced them to go see someone to help them get along better, Pam is starting to become a pretty good mom.

"Later Carls, Freddork," Sam said as she headed home, out of Carly's apartment.

Freddie finally looked up from his computer as Sam left and quickly started talking to Carly. He really needed to give up on his 'crush'. It was okay to crush a little bit but after four years with no change the boy was pretty much crazy.

"Carly!" They suddenly heard from below, and it was none other than Spencer Shay himself.

"That's probably Spencer back with the shopping, I'm going to go give him a hand, want to come?" she asked as she had already started making her way to the door.

"That's okay, I've still got some changes to do to the site." And with that she smiled and the door closed behind her.

So now it was just Freddie, all alone in the studio, what could go wrong?

Freddie returned to his work but soon stopped after catching something interesting out of the corner of his eye.

_Sam's backpack._

Freddie started arguing with himself on whether he should have a look inside. He wasn't sure what he would find in that bag. It was Sam, she's not going to have school books in it, so what item of torture could she be keeping in it?

_Maybe just a quick look._ He thought finally as he made his way over to the bag. He did so very slowly and cautiously, thinking that the blonde headed demon would suddenly return and break all the bones in his body for looking through her bag.

He carefully unzipped it, half expecting a million fat cakes to come flying out. Surprisingly, when he opened it all he found was a bunch of notebooks. One notebook though, stood out beyond the rest. Mostly because the words 'Sam's Diary' were written on the front in big block letters.

Miss Samantha Puckett wasn't the kind of girl you'd expect to keep a diary, but apparently she did.

_I shouldn't...should I? _His brain was flooded with that one question, but soon his curiosity got the best of him. He quickly grabbed the diary, shut Sam's bag, and hid it in his own bag. Then he quickly ran out the door of the studio, down the stairs and came faced with Carly and Spencer.

"Hey Freddie," she smiled as she was helped Spencer put away the shopping bags.

"Hey Carly, um, My mom needs me...for s-something. I'll be back soon." Freddie smiled and then, acting as casually as possible, made his way out of the door and into his apartment.

Luckily his mom was away out shopping at the time, so he quickly made his way into his room, got out her diary and opened the very first page. If only he had known what he was about to discover...

_Dear Diary,_

_So, I know this is kinda lame, but the counselor that my mom and me go see says this is a good way of getting out my feelings. Well, I've been having a lot of weird feelings lately. Last week was Webicon, and Carly, Freddie and I all were at a panel where fans could ask us questions. The audience though was pretty much split between Seddie fans and Creddie fans. I've never thought about the whole relationship part of iCarly before until that day. I had simply thought of Freddie and me as 'frenimies' or something like that, but the more I thought about it, the more I found myself gazing at him. It was then I realized something important...Something I chose to ignore at the time, but when me and Freddie shared our first kiss that day, it felt like fireworks were going off in my head. What I realize is that Freddie may be a dork that's completely in love with Carly, but I'm the blonde headed demon that's fallen in love with him,_

_Sam._

Emma; Well what did you think? (: Will update sometime tomorrow hopefully, but I might not because I have school then doctors.

**Hello! This is MagicCahill talking. Emma and I talked via PM, and now I'm her beta! For those of you who don't know what a beta is/does, the author sends them the documents of the chapters and they fix it up grammar and spelling wise. Sometimes they even add details, but only if they feel that it's needed. **

**~Magic~**


	2. iCan't Believe

**Chapter 2**

Emma; 7 reviews...wow! (: Thank you! And now on with the story...just to let you all know...it's my birthday! So be nice (:

_Disclaimer; If I owned iCarly do you really think I would be writing iCarly fanfictions?_

Freddie could not believe his eyes. He read over and over the first page and just stared with disbelief. _Sam loved him?_ Suddenly everything he thought was real changed in front of his eyes. He replayed past moments and tried to make sense of everything, but with each second his mind started to believe more and more that Sam Puckett was, in fact, in love with him.

He felt it was wrong to be looking through Sam's Diary, but he couldn't stop now, so he quickly turned to the next page...

_Dear Diary,_

_Well I'm writing again, it's been about two weeks since I last wrote in this but once again my feelings are wacked up. I keep thinking about him more and more. Freddie Benson. The boy I am suppose to hate with all my guts is starting to become the only thing that's ever on my mind. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I can't tell him...He loves Carly and always has...there's no way he would accept my feelings. I hate this...I wish things were so much simpler. Why is that nub just so darn attractive?_

Freddie's eyes went from shocked to flattered and right back to shocked. Sam Puckett just called him attractive. He closed the diary within a flash.

"I shouldn't have done this," he whispered as he put the diary back in his bag.

**Freddie's POV**

I couldn't believe this, Sam was in love with me!

In that moment I felt horrible about myself. I had invaded her diary and read something I obviously wasn't meant to know. I had to return it somehow. If I didn't then Sam was notice and probably find it in my hands.

I tried to tell myself that if I put it back I could somehow forget about everything that I just found out, but deep down inside I knew that nothing would feel the same around her again. He would still know her secret.

Sam and I...

She called me attractive...

I snapped out of my day dream and focused straight on my mission. Sam's bag was probably still in the studio. All I had to do was sneak up there and quickly place the diary back in her bag. Simple, right? I quickly pulled a cable from my desk and in a flash was in Carly's apartment.

"Hey Freddie," Carly greeted as she was sitting on the couch with the blonde headed demon next to her.

"Sam!" he shouted abruptly as he didn't expect her to be there, "I was only away for ten minutes how did you get here. I thought you went to-"

"I forgot my bag," she pointed to the bag that sat on the table in front of her, "Anyway I need to go before my mom completely freaks, Later!" she called as she grabbed her bag and headed toward the door.

As she walked past me, she sent a glare in my direction. It was now or never. I had to stop her, but how? My mind went into overdrive. I stared at her as she walked away. The thing I did next was the only thing I could think of in that moment.

I grabbed her arm and dragged her back. Surprisingly she didn't do anything back to hurt me. Instead she just stood at me with a confused expression attached to her face.

"What is it, Freddweird?" she asked as I stood, struck with fear of talking.

"C-Can I talk to you?" I asked, uncertain of what I was going to do next, "Y-You know, in private?"

She thought for a moment before shrugging her shoulders and started walking out of the apartment hinting for me to follow, "Make it quick though," she glared. Carly just looked strangely towards us both.

"What is it nub?" she asked as the door closed behind me. We both then stood in the hallway.

I was freaking out! _What should I do? Should I tell her?_

I took a deep breath in and prepared for what would happen next.

"Is it true?" I asked her as I slowly pulled out her diary from my bag. Her face turned angry but soon she realized what I had meant and slowly her face turned red.

"I-I don't know what you mean." Her voice cracked and she tried to turn away.

"Wait! I need to know! Is it true?" I called her back. She stopped and turned her head to face mine. She just stared for a few seconds, not saying a word.

"Please, tell me. Is it true?" I pleaded.

She looked from right to left and then back into my eyes.

"It's true."

Emma; SEDDIE! ;P I will update soon, please review...and remember...it's my birthday! ;P so be nice! (:


	3. iVisit Sam

Emma; Thanks so much for the reviews, and I'm sorry for the late update, I've been ill :( But anyway you don't want to hear my blabbing on about my illness, do you? You want to know what happens next, am I right? ;) Well go on ahead, and remember all you Seddiers keep on shipping and all you Creddiers...please give up already! Lol...

_Disclaimer; I wish I owned iCarly, but sadly I don't. :(_

_**Recap Time! **_

_"Please tell me. Is it true?" I pleaded._

_She looked from right to left and then back into my eyes._

_"It's true."_

**Freddie's POV**

I couldn't believe it. _Sam Puckett loves me_. It felt so weird yet I had this strange sensation that exploded through my body. I felt...happy. But why? Did I like her back?

"_It's true."_

Those words kept ringing through my head and didn't go away. It had been a whole day since she said that, yet those words had kept me up the whole night.

This morning I decided that no matter what I had to talk to her today. I had to talk about it. And I had to figure out my feelings once and for all.

And so here I was...outside the house of miss Samantha Puckett.

**Sam's POV**

I am going out of my mind! Freddie knows!

I'm such an idiot! Why did I have to tell him it was true? I could've lied and told him it was fake! Ugh!...

I was lying on my bed, which I had been doing for the past day ever since I ran home yesterday. I knew I shouldn't have written that diary in the first place. Well at least I have it back again... Freddork gladly gave it to me and promised he only read the first two pages. Thank god he didn't read on. Although not quite sure how much more embarrassing it could get...

_ding dong._

Ugh! I hated it when my mom was out and I was the only one around to get the door. I sat there waiting for the person to go away, hoping it was just a stupid sales person, but the bell kept ringing. I groaned as I quickly made my way downstairs.

Mom was off on a date with some Spanish dude that works at an Italian restaurant down the street...weird right? Well, it sure beats the French guy she dated last week.[1] I opened the door and as I saw the face of Freddie Benson I nearly fainted. Too bad I wasn't drinking something, would've made for an awesome spit take moment.

My mind had mixed feelings and thoughts that I couldn't process all at once...Half of my brain was telling me to slam the door on his face, the other half was telling me to hear him out while my heart was telling me to shut up and kiss him already.

"Hey," I said, uneasily as I motioned him to come inside. He did so, and I shut the door behind him.

"Hi," he said followed by an awkward silence. Part of the reason why I didn't want to tell him how I felt was because I was afraid we would never be able to act the same as we used to. It felt like my worst nightmare had came true, although my worst nightmare was of all the food in the world disappearing into thin air. It was not a pretty thought, trust me. He walked further into the room as I followed.

"What do you want?" I asked finally, breaking through the silence. He looked at me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Well in that moment, it kind of was. Of course I knew what he wanted to talk about. He wanted to talk about the fact that I loved him.

He rolled his eyes, "You know what I came here to talk to you about! I want you to explain because I don't understand, I mean you've always hated me! And now all of a sudden I find out that you love me, what am I suppose to think?" he yelled but then calmed his voice as he said, "Since when?"

I thought about it for a while, not that I haven't thought about it before, but it took time to get the courage to say it. I took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye.

"In the diary, I said that it happened the week after Webicon, but that's not exactly true. I mean, that's when I figured out for sure but I had a lot of feelings before then. When we shared our first kiss, I don't know what happened, but it felt like magic." I stopped as his face showed nothing but shock.

"W-Why didn't you tell me before?" he asked as he sat down.

"Because the girl in your eyes will always be Carly, there's no room for a blonde headed demon like me." I walked over and sat down next to him.

He didn't say anything after that, he just sat there staring at me. I did the same, and I couldn't stop.

**Third Person POV**

There they were. Samantha Puckett and Freddie at each other, not saying a word, and only looking into the shape and color of each other's eyes.

Sam looked through his golden brown eyes and could see his confusion. She could tell he was confused, although she didn't realize the reason he was confused was because he didn't know who he liked anymore. _Sam or Carly?_

While Freddie gazed into Sam's eyes all he saw was her fear, the fear of being rejected and the fear of losing someone very close to her.

Sam can honestly say that she did not expect what Freddie said next.

"Will you go on a date with me?" he asked as Sam's eyes dropped to the floor with shock, and joy.

Emma; SEDDIE FTW! Anyway please review and don't worry I will update soon! (:

**I feel like I should say something...Uh. So, is anyone noticing the grammar changes? **


	4. iKeep a Secret

Emma; Hello, well It's been a very sunny day in Scotland so I'm in a happy mood :) My family and I had a barbecue and it was...amazing! Anyway onto the story...

_Disclaimer; Do you honestly think I own iCarly? It belongs to the amazing Dan Schneider! (:_

Recap~

_Sam can honestly say that she did not expect what freddie said next._

_"Will you go on a date with me?" he asked as Sam's eyes dropped to the floor with shock, and joy._

End of Recap~

**Sam's POV**

_Dear Diary,_

_Tonight is my very first date with...Freddie Benson! I can hardly believe it myself. He's taking me to The Cheesecake Warehouse for dinner and I can tell that it's going to be amazing! Can you believe it? Me, Sam Puckett is going on a date with Freddie Benson! Who would've thought? Well I still can't believe it...but it's real! Although first Freddie and I need to go to Carly's to hang out whilst trying to hide the fact we both have a date tonight. I know we all had that conversation about not telling lies to eachother but this wasn't something I could easily tell Carly, and wasn't something she could take easily. Anyway I'm too excited to think about all that now, this princess puckett has finally found her prince! I'm off~_

Freddie came for me that morning, so I wouldn't have to walk all the way to Carly's myself. I blushed for about the first few minutes, when everything was feeling awkward, but soon we were just acting like ourselves. We were laughing and joking about like we were best friends, and we eventually ended up holding hands. Mama could get used to this...

It took about twenty minutes to reach Carly's house, and soon we were both slumped down on the bean bags of the iCarly studio. Carly had no idea what was going on between us, and we both agreed we'd let it stay that way for now. Although I'm pretty sure there were secret glances and smiles that didn't go unnoticed by Carly.

"Okay, I think that's everything for the next iCarly, do you want to go get a snack?" Carly asked as we drew an end to another day of working out new iCarly segments. With every second that passed, I got more excited as it meant one more second closer to the date. I quickly checked my phone for the time, _3:00pm._ Our table was booked for 7 so I would have to make an excuse to leave soon, and so would Freddie.

"Acctually I need to go in like five minutes, my mom wants me to have an early dinner so we can go out to a mother and son convention tonight." Freddie obviously lied. It wasn't obvious to Carly, just to me. Carly just shrugged and said, "Well I'm going to go get a snack, you want something Sam?" she looked over to me.

In truth, I really did want a snack. Well, when did I ever not want one? But if I didn't hurry home there would be no time for me to get ready. "I can't, gotta go. Mom's bringing round a new date tonight for dinner"

"You're going to join them for dinner?" Carly raised an eyebrow.

"She's dating a proffessional Chef and he offered to cook. Mama's not going to pass that up!" I quickly lied. Carly laughed and then replied, "You're so typical, I'll see you later then" she then turned around and headed downstairs.

"Do you think she's onto us?" Freddie asked.

"She's clueless, trust me." I smiled back.

**Carly's POV**

I was just on my way downstairs when suddenly I stopped and looked back. I was two steps down from the top when I realized something was very strange. I slowly and quietly made my way back upstairs, making sure Sam and Freddie couldn't hear me. I hid behind the door and slowly peeked my head through where I found Sam and Freddie sitting next to eachother on the bean bags, and they were staring at eachother, and smiling.

Sam finally broke the staring as she started to talk, "I still think it's wrong hiding this from her, she's our best friend. She'll find out sooner or later" she sighed.

"I know we shouldn't lie to her. But we both agreed on this, it's for the best. Don't you think?" he replied.

"I guess" she smiled and she intertwined her hands with his.

Oh my god.

What's happening here? What the feathers if going on? Sam and Freddie? No freakin' way!

I quickly turned back around and ran down the stairs. Still picturing in my mind that scene and trying to make sense of it all.

I ran to the kitchen and got myself a drink. After a large sip I had finally calmed down, and now all I felt was betrayal and anger. Why would they chose to keep this from me?

Footsteps emerged from upstairs and I tried to act cool.

"Hey Carls, that's us going now" Sam called as her and Freddie slowly made their way to the front door.

"Wait!" I called as my mind had an urge to bust them right then and there. Most of brain, however was telling me I needed to bust them another way.

"What is it?" Freddie asked as they both suddenly stopped having just reached the door.

"Oh, um nothing. Have fun tonight" I called and soon they had both left. I quickly made my way to door and pressed my ear against it, desperately trying to make out what they were saying.

"I'll see you tonight" I heard from Freddie's voice.

"What time is our table at again?" Sam asked.

"8 o' clock, although when I phoned earlier they said they might be able to take us early."

"Okay so I'll meet you outside the cheesecake warehouse at half past 7 then?" She asked.

"Sure, see you then" I could sense them both smiling at eachother.

I heard nothing but a door closing after that so I made my way to the couch.

A huge lightbulb hit my head. I had an idea.

I quickly reached for my cell phone and searched through my phone numbers until I found the perfect number to call.

"Hey Brad?"

..

"Do you want to go out tonight?"

Emma; Review! (: I will update as soon as possible! Also I am in an amazing mood because I just watched the most AMAZING episode of Doctor Who ever to hit our screens. Yeah I know, I'm a dork. ;P Anyway please give me reviews which will make my day even happier! (:


	5. iDate Sam and Freddie

Emma: Sorry it's been awhile, but I was caught up in playing the Sims 3**(Magic: awesome game,** **so nobody blame her ^-^)** LOL! (: Anyway on with the story(:

Disclaimer; Sadly I don't own iCarly, however I do own a brand new guitar! (:

Sam's POV

I was wearing a black and blue dress with silver heels and was covered with makeup, thanks to my mom, but I didn't care. All that mattered was that tonight I was going on my very first date with Freddie Benson.

We met up at half past seven outside The Cheesecake Warehouse as promised. He looked handsome as ever and we both held hands as we entered the restaurant.

"Reservations for Benson," Freddie said to the waiter as the man then checked through the records until he nodded and told us to follow him to our table.

It was way in the back and it was very romantic. All around I could see couples enjoying their dinner as they gazed lovingly into the eyes of each other.

Usually sappy things like that would irritate me, but not tonight. Tonight the only thing that mattered was Freddie and I.

We took our seats at opposite ends of the table as the waiter gave us our menus. He was about to walk away when he remember to add, "If you need me, just shout."

Freddie rolled his eyes and I just laughed.

"You look amazing tonight," he complimented me as he picked up his menu and started browsing through it as he picked out things he might like to eat. Freddie and I both knew of the massive portions so he ordered lightly whereas I ordered nearly half the menu!

I blushed lightly at his comment and picked up my menu.

There was so many things to order, I just couldn't pick one!

Freddie laughed at my urge to eat everything on the menu and as he did I felt the temperature rise higher and higher.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked as he looked down from his menu and looked seriously towards me.

"Sure," he smiled.

"Since when have you liked me? I mean that was the last thing I expected you to ask me yesterday. I thought you liked Carly?"

"I don't know. After I read your diary, I didn't know what to think anymore and suddenly like magic, I realized. I realized that Carly is just a crush, but you and me are fate. I didn't expect myself to ask that either yesterday, it just sorta came to me. But I'm glad I said it."

"Me too," I smiled, as did he. And for that moment we sat in silence just looking into each other's eyes, starting to look like all those other couples surrounding us, thinking that nothing could spoil this moment. But from the corner of my eye I saw an all too familiar girl standing at the door of the restaurant.

"Oh no. Freddie we're in big trouble," I panicked as he looked round and noticed too.

"What are we going to do?" I practically yelled at him.

"I don't know, why is she here?" He asked knowing beforehand though that I didn't know.

"How am I suppose to know?"

It got worse when the waiter escorted Carly...and Brad?...to the table next to ours.

Why she with Brad? What's going on?

We tried to hide our faces, but it failed.

"Sam? Freddie?" she was shocked but there was something about her voice that made me think that she was lying, like she knew already. And then it hit me; she did know.

I stood up as she smiled back at me, like she was trying to make me feel horrible. I had lied to her. I had kept my biggest secret from her and there was no way I was coming out of this alive.

"Carly, I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I started to explain but she stopped me in the middle.

"It's too late for that. I can't believe you! First you hide this secret from me and second..."

"And second what?" I asked as she stopped in the midst of her sentence. Carly's eyes were filled with hate and pain, I could see it burning through her.

"And second, you stole away from me the guy that I like!" she yelled as she took the water that lay on our table and threw it over my perfectly curled hair. Freddie jumped out of his seat at the shock.

Brad had already left, after seeing this whole thing was a set up.

"You've never liked Freddie! The only reason you like him now, is because I have him. Admit it! You can't stand to see me have something that you don't!" I yelled at her, completely forgetting the fact we were in a restaurant and that all eyes were probably on us.

"T-That's...Agh!" she shouted as she took the salad bowl and threw it over my dress.

I could not believe she just did that.

_Emma; What did you think ? ;P Review(:_

**Magic; Grammar getting better? Huh, huh, huh? Haha, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Notice that most of the lag is my fault, since I totally procrastinated when I should have been betaing this. Well, again, I hope you enjoyed it!**


	6. iRunAway

Wow, 10 reviews for the last chapter, I feel so happy(: Anyway, onto the story(: And I want to thank MagicCahill so much for the amazing job she's doing as my beta! (:

**I don't approve of that, but it's her story...*sigh* And I'm a horrible beta. It took me like, three days to get the last chapter to you.**

_Disclaimer; If you seriously think I own iCarly then you seriously need to get checked into a mental hospital...although that could be a good thing, you might see Sam! ;P_

**Sam's POV**

I ran as fast as the wind could take my sturdy feet. With every step I took the more I wanted to turn around, head back inside, and grab back the man of my dreams, but I kept on going down the muddy path that led to the bus stop just thinking that it wasn't worth it. Even though deep inside I knew it was.

I could see it now; what was happening back at the restaurant this very second. Freddie and Carly would be alone and not even bothering to take one second out of their time to chase after the muddy Cinderella.

I eventually reached the bus stop and waited there for a bus to come and take me away. I inched my head around every two seconds dreaming of Freddie running after me, but after five minutes had ran by, I figured it would never happen and kept my eyes glued to the other direction in which soon a bus would come and take away the Cinderella that had lost her ride, and prince charming all on one night.

**Freddie's POV**

"How could you do that?" I screamed as soon we were both standing outside The Cheesecake Warehouse after being flung out by the manager. Carly looked to the ground with a small smirk placed on her face, clearly not going to answer my question, and clearly not feeling guilty about what she had done.

"Carly!" I yelled and once again there was no change. I sighed and starting headed off in the direction Sam had disappeared off to only a couple of minutes ago only to be pulled back by a furious Carly.

"Where are you going?" she cried.

"To get Sam!" I stressed.

"No! Don't go after her! Please Freddie! You belong with me!" Carly screamed at the top of her lungs trying to hold Freddie back as we soon drew a crowd. I was getting all kinds of frowns and horrified looks but I still tried to escape.

"You? You really think I would chose you over her? She's amazing, and smart and beautiful, and you? You're just a stuck up bitch that can't stand to see your best friend get the attention for once. Everyone else may think you're perfect and sweet, Carly, but I can see the truth. I can see that all you ever want is attention and you'll do anything to get it!" I screamed and ran off into the night, leaving Carly there, with her words trapped inside her head.

**Carly's POV**

_Was he right? _

_Was that all I was to him?_

The world was spinning in every direction and my heart was slowed to the pace of a mere turtle. I knew the crowd was staring at me, but my vision was blurred with shock and couldn't see anything but confusion.

After awhile the world once again returned to its usual state and I found myself all alone in a dark street in Seattle. Nothing made sense anymore. Everything that once seemed stable and calm was now flashing at me with rage. I looked left to right, up and down, trying to figure out where I was, and it wasn't until I turned to see a flashing light reading, 'The Cheesecake Warehouse' that I realized where I stood and what had just happened.

The crowd flew past me in what seemed like ten times the speed it usually was, and I jumped back to reality.

_I was dumped by my friends._

"Freddie...I-" I whispered but my words were trapped in a prison and had no way of getting out. I hung my head in shame and trudged along the path just hopping somehow that my alarm would go off to wake me up from this nightmare.

After awhile I realized I couldn't go home to Spencer in this state as I wasn't ready to be stormed with a never ending sea of questions.

I could imagine it now...

_'What happened?'_

_'Where's Sam?'_

_'Where's Freddie?'_

_'How did their date go?'_

_'Did you get mugged?'_

Nope, I definitely wasn't up for that.

I sighed, but walked on.

I halted again after a few minutes as I reached a shop window. I looked inside through the almost mirror like glass and stared at myself like I was assessing who I was.

But there was one thing wrong; I couldn't recognize myself. I looked up and down trying to figure out who was staring back at me. I kept searching for those angel-like blue eyes, but all I could see was an image, it was someone who looked like me but wasn't me in so many ways.

_Is this really what I had become?_

_Had I become so selfish that I couldn't even support my best friends when they needed me most?_

Maybe all this web show fame _had _got to me, without even realizing it. Perhaps being in the spotlight all the time made you want to be there. I guess as time went on, I began to like the spotlight so much that I couldn't stand not being in it. But before this whole thing started, I had to think back, did I ever think I would turn into the person that was staring at me today?

I had to make this right. Not just for Freddie, or Sam. But for me. If I don't, who knows who'll be staring back a few years from now.

**Sam's POV**

It seemed like forever had past as I waited. It was like time kept restarting after a few minutes and I was stuck in a never ending loop.

There was a few things going through my mind, which you could probably imagine. But the most important thing was that I didn't think Carly would do that to me. Ever.

Sure, we're not perfect and our friendship does have its flaws but I never expected her to do something like that. I mean, it's Carly. She's Miss Sunshine. The girl that always has my back and always is there for me whether I'm feeling as if I'm on top of the world, or if I'm drowned in tears. I always thought our friendship would last, but look now. I'm heartbroken, upset, confused and in pain from the knife she threw at my back.

I had to get home, and I had to get there now. It was nine o' clock and darkness had engulfed the sky already. There was only three people left waiting at the bus stop; An old women with grey hair that was wearing a purple blouse and a long beige skirt, you know the ones people thought were fashionable three hundred years ago?, A young man, looking in his twenties, twenty three if I had to take a guess, that was wearing a blue checked shirt with blue jeans and a leather jacket that was only zipped halfway up, and, of course, me.

Many had waited before us, but their bus had come and gone already. The bus that took me home was the last one of the night, which I assumed was the same bus the other two were waiting on.

I shivered as the cold wind blew over me, nearly sending my long purple dress off my body. I should've brought a jacket, but this night didn't exactly turn out how I thought it would.

I let out a sigh of relief as the last bus of the day finally drove into the bus stop. I took one last look in the other direction, still thinking that maybe my prince charming would run after me, but sadly all I saw was an empty street that erupted with silence.

I took one step onto the bus before yet again jerking my head round.

_Nothing._

I turned my head back to face the bus and took another step before hearing the long awaiting call I was yearning for.

"Sam!" I heard _him_ shout. In a flash, my head turned back around and I was looking straight at the man that had stolen my heart. He didn't see me though. He was just shouting out randomly in hopes of finding me.

I was about to take two steps back and run into his arms but a question hit my head.

_Would I regret this?_

That question let to more questions.

_Regret what?_

_Freddie?_

_Do I deserve him?_

That last one struck me like lighting, _Did I deserve him?_

"Hey, lady! Are you getting on or what?" The impatient bus driver called as he interrupted my thoughts. I looked from him back to Freddie and then back to him. My foot slipped a step backwards off the bus.

_Do I deserve him?_

I took one last look at my shinning prince, sighed, then stepped right back onto the bus.

"One ticket please," I said and after he handed me my ticket, I quietly made my way to the first seat I could find. The bus driver smiled brightly, probably because his shift was nearly over, and drove off into the night. The bus began to wobble and shake but I still lay my head on the window. I sighed deeply.

_I don't deserve him._

_Emma; WOW, that was a long chapter...don't you think? hehe xD Anyway Review! (: And also, I really don't need reviews saying any of the characters are OOC, because I already know that so you know...let's all be positive! xD Goodbye(:! Also, do you like Avatar: The Last Airbender? You do? :D Then check out my friend, JackoLillie ! She writes amazing stories for it :D ~~Peace!_


	7. iWrite My Last Entry

Emma; Awww...I hate when it comes to the last chapter of my stories because it's time to say goodbye to my reviewers till my next story! :( Anyway I made this chapter extra long for all of you to enjoy! So sit back, relax and enjoy reading the very last chapter of iFind Sam's Diary. And get those tissues ready ;P Cos'...WARNING: Sad Ending.

_Disclaimer; I own iCarly, in my dreams. Sadly, in reality, I'm not so lucky... :(_

Recap~

_Do I deserve him?_

_I took one last look at my shinning prince, sighed, then stepped right back onto the bus. _

_"One ticket please" I said and after he handed me my ticket, I quietly made my way to the first seat I could find. The bus driver smiled brightly, probably because his shift was nearly over, and drove off into the night. The bus began to wobble and shake but I still lay my head on the window. I sighed deeply._

_I don't deserve him._

**One day later...**

**Freddie's POV**

My head was overrun with thoughts of _her. _I sighed and hung my head in shame. I was ashamed of myself for not being fast enough. I couldn't catch up and so I sat there, on my bed, unable to sleep because I was afraid that I had just lost the most precious thing in my life.

I love her. Somehow, I had to tell her that.

But she wasn't speaking to me.

I had called her, texted her, emailed her, and nothing. Not a single reply to each. She was ignoring me, and it was honestly tearing my heart up inside.

The only calls I had been getting were from Carly, but I ignored every single one of them. I couldn't face her right now, knowing what she had done. She took it too far, and it couldn't be fixed easily.

Worst of all, she knew exactly what she had done yet she still had the guts to smile about it. Now that was truly horrifying.

Just as I was sitting there sulking my phone went off again. I jerked my hand and grabbed it all within a few milliseconds but my heart dropped when I found it only to be the six millionth call from Carly. She would not give up. And like all the rest, I ignored it.

Whatever she wanted to say must have been urgent because within a matter of minutes I heard loud banging on the front door. I quickly jumped up and ran to the door, knowing all too well that my mother was asleep, and she wasn't the kind of person you wanted to wake up at six in the morning.

And there she was.

Her hair was messed up and her eyes were blue and bulged, obviously from lack of sleep.

Well I for one am glad I wasn't the only person that couldn't sleep.

Her eyes were open wide and she looked worried and upset. Her eyes darted everywhere except from mine, and she looked as if the world was ending in a couple of minutes.

"Freddie!" she yelled, even though I was right in front of her. She was probably just out here seeking attention again or something-

"Sam's gone!" She yelled as she interrupted my thought.

"Wait...What?" I yelled too as I grabbed her and pulled her out into the hallway as I closed my door quietly.

"She's gone, Freddie!"

"Wait, what do you mean by gone?" I panicked.

"Gone! Out the state! Living with her dad! That kind of gone! Understanding me now?" she explained in a worried tone. I soon felt her worry and ran into a deep state of shock. My mind was running a million miles per second. The walls started to close in on me and my heart was beating at triple the rate it was suppose to be. I clutched onto the wall, to try to steady myself, as I took deep breaths, in and out.

After a few minutes and I had calmed down, I started to regain my voice.

"When did she leave?" I asked as I fidgeted with my hands in order to try and calm my nerves. Her answer didn't seem to make matters any better.

"Last night. Her mom called me this morning and told me she was so upset that she just packed all her things and left! Freddie what are we going to do?" she stressed as she held her head with fear.

"This is all your fault!" I yelled as I ran off out of the hallway, still in my pajamas, to the exit of Bushwell Plaza. I could silently hear Carly following behind me. I didn't care much, all I cared about now was finding _her. _

_Samantha Puckett._

_I love you Sam, please don't leave me._

_~The night before...~_

**Sam's POV**

"Mom!" I yelled as she quickly made her way from the kitchen to greet my arrival home, jumping to see if my date went good. No, mother, my date went horribly!

"How did your da-"

"I'm leaving!" I told her as I made my way to the stairs.

"Wait...What?" she called as she ran after me.

"You heard me! I've had enough of this place. I'm going to live with dad! I already texted him earlier and he says it's fine. Drive me there, now!" I ordered.

"Okay, fine. If it'll get you out of my hair. Go get your stuff." I could see the pain in her eyes and could tell she was quite upset by this all and didn't want to agree with it, but I ignored it and made my way upstairs to pack my things. The essential things, like my year's supply of fat cakes I had won at an eating contest a month ago, and of course my diary. I grabbed it from where it lay and held it in my hands as I sighed.

_All my secrets lie within this book._

That was when the idea hit me.

**Freddie's POV**

I knocked loud and hard on _her _door. I had been knocking for the last ten minutes but still there was no answer. I could hear quite footsteps behind me, which belonged to Carly, but I ignored them and focused all my power on my knocking.

It couldn't be true.

She wouldn't just leave like this...would she?

Three tears dropped from my eyes. One for just losing the most important girl in my life. Another for not getting to say goodbye. And the last because the girl I loved was in a lot of pain right now, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I felt a soft tap on my shoulder and I jerked my head round to be faced with Carly, who was also crying.

"F-Freddie, t-this is all my fault. I-I'm so sorry," she fell to her knees and cried into her hands. I knelt down beside her and placed my hand on her shoulder. I knew this time she was sorry. It wasn't just for attention. The old Carly was back and that gave my broken heart a little boost.

We both smiled at each other as we stood up.

My phone suddenly went off and I opened it to reveal a text from _her._

My heart raced a million beats per second and I shook ferociously as I slowly pressed, 'Read.'

_Freddie, I'm sorry. I need you to know that I'm never coming back, so please let go of me. You deserve to be happy and I know that without me you will be. Goodbye, forever..._

This time it wasn't just a couple of tears, but a whole river escaped from my eyes.

_You stupid demon, I'll never be happy if you're not in my life._

Carly hugged me tightly as she also cried out loud. We stayed like that, in each other's arms, not willing to let go of our only lifeline. But finally, a half hour later, when the tears simply wouldn't come anymore and my body was cramped from not moving for so long, we had to.

We looked at each other, not saying anything for a long while. And then,

"So, what happens now?" she asked.

"I do exactly what she wants. I'll let go of her." A single last tear dropped from my eyes as I walked off in the other direction from Carly.

_If she loved me she wouldn't have left me. I'll move on, Sam, but I'll never forget you._

**One year later...**

**Sam's POV**

"Sam wake up! It's time for breakfast!" my dad called as I yawned and stretched from my slumber. I looked down at my alarm clock and realized it was already eight o clock. I was going to be late.

I kept looking at the clock just wishing that I had powers in which I could make it last night again. But something caught my eye behind the clock. A picture.

I sighed as I looked at the brown messy hair that laughed away in the picture along with me. _Freddie..._

Every night I sit and wonder if he's found it yet. The message I left him a whole year ago.

It'll be a year tomorrow since I left. I sighed once again as I looked about my room. It was going to be another long day.

Life over here in New York wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The sun shined every day and I managed to make new friends. Sure, none of them were as good as my old ones, but, you know, they would do.

_I have to stop thinking about them._

I quickly got dressed and headed downstairs for yet another day living without _him._

**Freddie's POV**

I lay there in my bed wishing that someone would kill me right then and there. It had officially been a year since Sam left. It was kind of like an anniversary. I yawned and yawned until I had finally woken up. I looked at my bedside table to be met with pure blue eyes.

Yes, that's right, I had a picture of _her _on my table.

_I guess I'm not that good at letting go._

It all got worse six months ago, when Carly and Spencer left to live in Yakima with their grandfather. Now all that lived in their apartment was an old couple that would shout at you for anything. One time I walked out my door and she was there yelling into mid air! Crazy!

I was officially a loser. I had no good friends and no good neighbors. All I had to come home to at night was my mother and my computer.

Just as my mind was travelling back in time, I was knocked back to the present by loud knocking at my front door. My mom had went out a couple for minutes ago for her morning walk, which she did every morning.

I quickly made my way to the front door and opened it.

My mouth dropped to the floor.

"P-Pam?" I mumbled.

Yes, that's right. Pam Puckett was at my door.

"Hey, so the other day I was looking through Sam's old stuff and I came across something that was for you." She said as she handed me a very familiar item.

_Sam's Diary?_

"Why is this for me?" I asked.

"Just read and be thankful of me, I could've thrown it out!" she hissed as she left off down the hallway.

Like a professional, I closed the door with my foot and made my way back to my room.

I slumped myself down on my comfy chair that sat at my desk and quickly opened it.

I guess Pam just thought it would be fun to let me read through all her secrets, but I secretly knew it was more than that. I quickly skimmed through the pages.

I eventually reached the last page and when I read, 'Dear Freddie' I stopped and focused on her very last entry that seemed to be for me.

_Dear Freddie,_

_I've left this behind for you to find one day. I don't know how many nights, for you, have passed since I left but hopefully it hasn't been too long. I wanted to let you know the reason why I am leaving. I've actually had the idea for a long time now. Leaving, that is. It just took a kick in the back from both you and Carly for me to actually do it. I haven't seen my dad in a long time and I guess it will be good to go and stay with him. Maybe if I wasn't so...horrible then I could've stayed and we could've been together. Although when I leave you probably will have moved on from me. Carly and you will most likely get together in the near future. You have to know, Carly's my best friend and I can't fight with her, especially over a guy. I've given up because I know in the end she will win, she always does. That's not the only reason why I'm leaving though. I need to have a fresh scene, a brand new life where I can be anyone I want. I need to find out who I am and become someone that would make you and Carly proud._

_If I said I was coming back, there might be a chance, no matter how thin that chance might be, that you would wait for me, so I'm telling you this straight, I'm never coming back. Even though we'll never meet again, I wish you the best of luck in life. I hope one day you'll find someone that you really love and will care for. If you had stayed with me, I would've been bad for you. You're too good for me. I don't deserve to be praised by someone as special as you. _

_You once asked me since when have I loved you. I didn't give much of an answer, but I'll give you it now. Do you believe in love at first sight? That's what it was like with you. When I think back, right back to when we first met, I always had feelings for you. And why do I love you? That's easy, but if I explained fully, it would never end so I'll tell you in short. It's because no matter what time of day it is you're always on my mind and when the rain falls in my world you're always there with your red and blue striped umbrella. I love that you are the only one who understands me and that I can always count on you. Basically, I love every bit of you. From head to toe. _

_These next months will be hard for me but I'll pull through in the end, so I hope you will too. Go out and enjoy life! Find someone worth your love, unlike me. You and Carly are the most precious things in my life, and that's why it's so hard to say goodbye. So I'm not going to. Instead I'll say thank you, and know that you'll be in my heart. Please never forget my name, for I am Princess Puckett. _

_Enjoy life to the fullest, and never look back,_

_Love, Sam...x_

_P.S. I love you._

Emma: So? What did you think? I know it's a very shocking ending, but you obviously haven't read any of my stories before, as I live for endings like these! I have a question to ask though, should there be a sequel? It ends with them both still having feelings for each other after a full year without seeing one another so in the sequel it could be Freddie going to find Sam after reading this? Tell me what you think and if you have any ideas for the sequel just send me a message(: Anyway, I should be writing a lot more stories now as it's summer holidays! WOOO! so, to celebrate I spent all night working on this for you all, and hopefully the sequel will be coming soon! (: I hope you all enjoyed reading and be sure to keep up to date for the sequel! (:


	8. Authors Note: Sequel!

Hey everyone!

So I have decided, finally, that I'm going to do a sequel! And I'm informing you that it won't be out until next week, or if I'm quick, possibly this weekend. I still need to think over ideas for it and come up with a main plot. If you have any ideas for it then please either include in a review or send me a message. I'm hoping to make a great sequel with a great ending because some of you were upset about how it ended.

Also I've started writing a brand new Seddie story called, iSay Goodbye. A short summary is below:

_Freddie's Dad is back! Will Freddie chose to move away with his Dad or will he chose to stay with his mother? Can a certain Blonde headed demon say anything to make him stay? _The summary kinda sucks but I will improve it, but that's kinda the just of it (:

Anyway make sure to check back for the sequel xD

~xGoldxRose


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